Her Phone Number: Is It Better To Give Or Receive?

By Dr. Dennis Neder
Copyright © 2005, Seduction Insider. All Rights Reserved.

Dear Dr Neder,

I have a question regarding the exchange of a phone number after meeting a female. In my way of thinking, my mother taught me it is better to give than to receive. Because of this I have a habit of giving my number to the female rather then asking for hers.

The disadvantage to that is obvious; it puts her on control. She may never call, and there’s nothing you can do about it. I thought about it for a minute then though and I said, “but if she calls then you know she has a genuine interest in you.”

Do women prefer to give their number opposed to receiving a number? Or is there a difference either way? Traditionally I suppose the man calls the woman, but I’ve never been much of a traditionalist.

Thank you for your help!


Did your mother also tell you that it was better to remain celibate than to actually have a sex life? Well, that’s what giving your number to women is going to lead to!

The fact is that women won’t call you back! There are a number of reasons behind this, but the fact remains despite the reasons. Women know it’s YOUR job to call THEM, not the other way around. So much for equality, eh?

I was my doctor’s office the other day and was chatting up his receptionist. She had just finished checking her messages on her cell phone and was visibly excited because some guy she had met a few days before left her a message. So, I asked her, “Are you going to call him back?” She said, “Oh no! I never call guys back!” So I then said, “But you obviously seem interested in him, why wouldn’t you call back someone you want to see again?” She replied, “Because then he’d know I was interested in him!”

See what’s happening here? She’s really interested in this guy, but wants to keep him off balance and thus won’t call him – she expects him to do all the work!

What you’re doing is trying to avoid rejection, and frankly it’s a good way to accomplish that goal. However, it’s a very bad way to actually meet women and get dates. You’re going to have to decide which is more important: your fear of rejection, or your need for companionship, love and sex.

Dr. Dennis Neder

Have a love, relationship, sex or man/woman question? Dr. Neder answers all email. You can write to him at [email protected] for answers. For more information about his book, “Being a Man in a Woman’s World”, visit beingaman.com.